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Tuesday, November 10th, 2015
8:32a - Breathe, day two
You're still gone. I woke today, I finally was able to sleep, but you were still gone. It means this isn't some bizarre dream.
Woke up, I was able to not cry in front of the family. score one for me. I couldn't help it though walking home from the bus stop. My heart has a hole in it. I still can't understand why you did this. I can't understand why you did call me, message me something. I keep hoping that your mom is going to find a book full of scribbles that will explain things.
I'm scared that if she does it's going to say I did something wrong.
I know in two hours I won't be getting my hello messages, and that hurts so much.
I can't function as well without you. I loved you so very much and I can't breath without you.
I wanted to be at your burial, but I couldn't. Many reasons, I can't imagine not having the sun touch your face once more. I can't believe you will be beyond my fingers to touch and be touched in return.
I keep seeing things one Facebook that I want to share with you, but remember I can't. I keep waiting for you to reply to my text message, but then remember you won't.
I don't want to burden your mom but all I want to do is lay in your bed. Silly isn't it? I can pretend you're getting a drink of water and will be coming back, but it isn't the truth.
What I wish for in all my heart is a time turner. What I wouldn't give to have a chance to redeem myself.

current mood: heart broken

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